Breaking news! Daily paper claims Martians cause autism!

Summer and Eve here with our top story of the week. According to an internet Autism news source, Martians are to blame for the increasing rate of Autism in our children. In their headlining story, one top editor proclaimed "Hold on to your hats..the takeover has only just begun..and it is gonna get a whole lot worse." Not since the famous radio broadcast of the late Orson Welles have people been so manipulated. "Well, I was pretty disappointed in my son anyway" claimed one source who wished not to be named. "I figure it might as well be martians..now that Andy is gone."  Yes, ever since Andrew Wakefield has been stripped of his medical license this Autism news source has been grasping at straws in an effort  to rally their declining readership. How else can one explain their flagrant misuse of an uplifting post on acceptance and disability in an effort to justify the killing of innocent children? It certainly leaves this reporter with many questions. No Martians were available for comment.  Correspondent Eve has more on this after our video... 

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Thanks, Summer. I must say, I was struck near dumb by the angry hordes of parents trampling all over this nice doctor's post. I mean, here we have a physician discussing how he's learned, grown, and realized that pity is not the answer. It's a disability rights activist's dream, a post that furthers the recognition of the value of all people. We interviewed some of the posters at the good doctor's for their take on the latest Martian theory. "I was shocked," said one mum. "I know women are from venus, and all, and men from Mars. Maybe that's what's happened? Those parents heard about the extreme male brain theory and decided it must be Martians?" Another mum from the Martian-stealing site said , "I'm was certain it had to be Martians, otherwise that doctor wouldn't be advocating treating our children like they were human; it's all a big pharma/Martian con, don't you know?"

We here at the studios of Douchetopia think that the Age of Martians deserve a special hat tip for single-handedly proving just how many douches one site can host.

From the studios of Douchetopia! Parentdish serves children on a platter!

Good morning! Summer here with a late breaking story!  Seems that the folks over at Parentdish a site owned by AOL are condoning the call for euthanasia!  After a recent article about the use of electro shock as aversion therapy, the good commenters over at Parentdish had a thing or two to say! "Drown them at birth" cried one parent.."You can use this treatment because "THEY" don't feel pain the way that "WE" do" said another. "Why were these children allowed even to be born?" moaned another. Calls for compassion and humanity from other commenter's fell on deaf ears. "Quit your whining and raise them in your own home if you don't like it!" was the response. Inquiries to the editorial team at Parentdish have yet to be answered.  Makes one  wonder why a site that supposedly encourages discussion of parenting let these comments on?  Does Parentdish encourage the support of euthanasia for the disabled?  Or in allowing these commenters free reign are they giving an example of who really ought to be euthanized?  Either way, we here at the studios of Douchtopia are stunned!  Here's correspondent Eve with more commentary on the subject.  But first a  song by our musical guest!

I was absolutely astounded by what I read over there, Summer! A site supposedly for parents about parenting seems instead to be a shark-infested pool of sociopaths. Despite flagging comments as inappropriate, none have been removed.

Yes, dear viewers, it would appear, looking around at the various articles at Parentdish, and the incredible hatemongering that seems to stay right on the site despite the report buttons, that Parentdish has a habit of bringing out the douchiest people and rewarding them by letting their hatefilled rants stay on, some of them, for years.

Summer and I believe that only douches of the highest magnitude could write these kinds of things: "The only humane thing to do is to put these people down like you would a horse, suffering from a broken leg."

So here's to Parentdish and all the douches on its webpages:




We'll take a moment here, though, to praise those commenters who wade into that cesspool and try to speak with compassion and reason. It's an uphill battle.

Autistics ARE human-another breaking story from the studios of Douchetopia

Hi, this is Summer and Eve here to bring you the latest breaking news story!  You can purchase a video "We're all in this together-understanding the humanity of autism" for ONLY 40.00.  That's right! Autistic people are human!  Yup once they get over being accepting their "autistic behavior" they will be able to embrace the artistic people they are! And maybe be even more human!  We'll go to our correspondent Eve for more on this-But first a word from our sponsers!




That's right, Summer, this video, replete with creepy voice over, wants to get the word out on autism, but like many things targeting interested parties, this isn't about the autistic people. No, indeed, Summer, it's about everyone else who has to deal with autistic people:

"Understanding the Humanity of Autism”, illustrates the journey real parents, families, professionals, paraprofessionals and other caregivers take as they develop constructive and effective relationship skills supportive of people with autism.

First, I'd like to point out to our viewers that the journey is primarily about the individual who has autism. Second, if you really need a video to explain to you that autistics are human beings, too, this video probably isn't going to do that for you. It might, though. Both Summer and I weren't willing to fork over forty bucks and sit through the whole thing.

The trailer is provided below:

 

Summer, if any of our viewers have sat through this video, perhaps they'll care to tell us, does this rise to the level of douchetopia? I know our vote on this one.

Until tomorrow's latest Douche-Update, this is Summer and Eve wishing you all a douche-free evening.

Straight from the studios of Douchetopia!

Good Morning this is Summer and Eve reporting to you live from the studios of Douchetopia!-

Summer-"We've got quite the douchebag lined up for you today!"

Eve-"Well, Summer what can I say? Sometimes you just need to avail yourself of one of our sponsor's wonderful Island Splashes. And I think once you've gotten a handle on what we have for our viewers today, they're going to need the refreshing!"

Cue-video of chickens squawking

THE ETHICS ARE FALLING THE ETHICS ARE FALLING!!

Summer-"our top story of the day concerns a scientist blogger by the name of David Gorski. Taking on the comedic styling of Sheilds and Yarnell, Jake Crosby and the troop of puppeteers over at Aoa, are putting on quite the show! Pulling the strings and rallying the troops of their not so mentally adept followers to file complaints with Dr. Gorski's place of employment in an effort to terminate his position. Yes, the douchbags over at Aoa are endorsing slander and libel along with their B12 pops and at home chelation spas. "Hey it's all in a days work," cited an unnamed source.. "We're just trying to recover our children." More on this from Douchetopia correspondent Eve...but first a word from one of our sponsors:

Eve: Well, Summer, you've heard the saying, it's raining douches, right? These folks have sprinkled too much mining chelator on their cheerios. If the outright misinformation over there wasn't enough, like the idea that pharma money's paying for Gorski's research after he took the time to pre-emptively respond to Crosby's concerns: "I do not receive any money from Sanofi-Aventis (or any other pharmaceutical company) to fund my research (or my blogging, for that matter). If you had bothered to read my disclaimer you’d know that."

Gorski continued, showing why the douches over at AoA are soured and out-of-date: "First, I would have to be receiving money from Sanofi-Aventis. I am not. Second, I would have to have the reasonable expectation to receive money from Sanofi-Aventis. I do not. I’m not even angling for money from Sanofi-Aventis to run my lab. Third, I would have to know that Riluzole is being tested as a treatment for autistic children. I did not until Jake wrote to me. In fact, Jake isn’t even correct."

That last sentence, Summer, says it all, "Jake isn't even correct." Same goes for the rest of the pack over at Age of Douches. Back to you, Summer, after this word from our sponsor:



Summer-Thanks Eve..So todays's "Tip O' the douchebag" award goes to the folks over at Aoa whose continual bending of facts and twisting of evidence continue to make the world a less populated place-one unvaccinated person at a time.

That's it for today's show.  Tune in next time to for another thrilling adventure in douchtopia!  Thanks for stopping by!

That's todays show.  Thanks for dropping by