Summer and Eve here with our top story of the week. According to an internet Autism news source, Martians are to blame for the increasing rate of Autism in our children. In their headlining story, one top editor proclaimed "Hold on to your hats..the takeover has only just begun..and it is gonna get a whole lot worse." Not since the famous radio broadcast of the late Orson Welles have people been so manipulated. "Well, I was pretty disappointed in my son anyway" claimed one source who wished not to be named. "I figure it might as well be martians..now that Andy is gone." Yes, ever since Andrew Wakefield has been stripped of his medical license this Autism news source has been grasping at straws in an effort to rally their declining readership. How else can one explain their flagrant misuse of an uplifting post on acceptance and disability in an effort to justify the killing of innocent children? It certainly leaves this reporter with many questions. No Martians were available for comment. Correspondent Eve has more on this after our video...
Thanks, Summer. I must say, I was struck near dumb by the angry hordes of parents trampling all over this nice doctor's post. I mean, here we have a physician discussing how he's learned, grown, and realized that pity is not the answer. It's a disability rights activist's dream, a post that furthers the recognition of the value of all people. We interviewed some of the posters at the good doctor's for their take on the latest Martian theory. "I was shocked," said one mum. "I know women are from venus, and all, and men from Mars. Maybe that's what's happened? Those parents heard about the extreme male brain theory and decided it must be Martians?" Another mum from the Martian-stealing site said , "I'm was certain it had to be Martians, otherwise that doctor wouldn't be advocating treating our children like they were human; it's all a big pharma/Martian con, don't you know?"
We here at the studios of Douchetopia think that the Age of Martians deserve a special hat tip for single-handedly proving just how many douches one site can host.